Akda ni Christopher Barja
Heto na naman si Boy Kulot
Katinuan ng pag-iisip sa kanya’y pinagdamot
Pinandidirihan, madungis at mabantot
Walang habas kung siya’y umutot
Pagkakamaling bunga ng harot
Sa mata ng ama’y siya’y ‘sang salot
Sa kanyang amang puno ng puot
Dulot sa kanya’y bugbog at takot
Sa isang matinding sigalot
Sa kanyang kamay kutsilyo’y naabot
Sa isang kumpas, kamatayan ang dulot
Sa ospital, kanyang ama’y ‘di na umabot
Dala marahil ng matinding lungkot
Sarili’y pilit ibinaon sa limot
Mundong malupit at masalimuot
Para sa kanya’y tumigil sa pag-ikot
Naging palaboy sa kalyeng pasikot-sikot
Pag-asa’t pangarap sa kanya’y nasimhot
Sa problema niya’y solvent ang naging sagot
Ngunit sa realidad siya’y walang lusot
Tadhana sa kanya’y naging maramot
Laman ng tiyan ay basura dinadampot
Matinong damit ay walang maisuot
Sa malubhang karamdama’y walang gamot
Isang araw, si Boy Kulot
Sa bangketa’y nakabaluktot
Sa dyaryo siya’y nakabalot
Miserableng buhay ay maagang naudlot.
Just before their winter operation that would bring them to the gates of Berlin for a final assault to finish off Nazi Germany, The crew of this T-34/85 from 164th Tank Brigade of the 16th Tank Corps, had somehow found time and vodka to take some icy rest and relaxation.
A tribute to our old organization and to that somewhat auteur office ornament.
Ikaw ang aming gabay
Sa magandang hulagway
Ng aming buhay
Wangis mo’y tila’y
Datapwat ika’y di gulay
O, kami’y sa iyo’y naglalaway!
Noong ika’y gawing kalamay
Kami’y bahagyang nalumbay
Ngunit damdami’y pinagtibay
Ng sustansiyang iyong taglay
Sa aming paglalakbay
Ika’y aming kaagapay
Kami’y sa iyo’y di mawawalay
O Teepee! Ipagbunyi ang ating Palay!
A pencil drawing of Trish – a relative of mine. Some details on this drawing were deliberately omitted, while some details were added on assumption. Here and there, you can spot some errors. It’s a work-in-progress, prematurely halted. Took me four days to “finish” it, approximately two hours a day. Finally, something to match that of Isabelle’s bragging on how fast she can finish a drawing.
For this I used pencils numbered 2B, 5B and 7B semi-rough canson paper. It was very uncharacteristic of me to use a 7B, since I do not like the texture made by pencil with that number. But since I lost my 5B in the middle of my work on this sketch, and I don’t have the intention of prolonging the time of working on this one, I simply didn’t have a choice but to use 7B. No smudging stump was used.
Ironically, I have two 7B pencils in my disposal. I should learn how to use them properly.
Digital manipulations have been minimal. Instead of scanning it, I used a point-and-shoot camera to “digitalize” this sketch. Brightness and contrast level were slightly adjusted. Color balance were also adjusted to make this seems to be drawn on a parchment paper.
During my third year in college, I once used an eyeliner to create a portrait. I didn’t ask for permission from my female friend – thanks Anna!, by the way – for using her eyeliner. At first she was furious at first, of course. But the sketch turned out to be good somehow. But what I didn’t know then was that cockroaches find eyeliners delectable. They ate almost a quarter of the sketch.
June 2, 2000, Friday, it was about three o’clock in the afternoon. It was a hot day, but the sky was beautifully clear, and everything seemed to be so bright. There for the first time I met Sara. She belongs to the MWF afternoon classes on our taekwondo lessons. She is one year younger than me and she was playing tag with her younger sister when I found her. The moment I entered the empty gym, she glanced my way and saw me standing by the doorway looking at her. And something struck me hard and fast.
It was a very fine day and I’ll never forget it. And it was three days in a row that I spent training with her, until the promotion day. It was Sunday morning. Then after the promotion event itself she was gone with her parents and her younger sister. I went home bearing an overrated sadness and an even overrated fear that I might not see her ever again. One day I was star-struck then three days later I was feeling lost.
She was my ultimate crush. Well that’s all in the past now. Five years later I regained my communications with her. They were right. When it comes about her, I am simply a coward. All through the years thinking about her, I never really summoned the courage to tell her how I feel for her. I was simply too afraid to find out what might have been.
My head’s in a jam
Can’t take you off my mind
From the time we met
I’ve been beset with thoughts of you
And the more that I ignore this feeling
The more I found myself believing
That I just have to see you again
I can’t let you pass me by
I just can’t let you go
But I know I am much too shy to let you know
Afraid that I might say the wrong words
And displease you
Afraid for love to fade before it can come true
Sometime during 2007 she gave me a message. She said: “…the worst regret we can have in life is not for the wrong things we have done, but from the right things we could have done but we never did”. It’s kind of cliché, or it could had been just forwarded. But I felt the irony of her sending me that message.
I can’t let you pass me by
I just can’t let you go
Let me say the things and say the words to let you know
I would rather say the awkward words
Than lose you
Or for love to fade before it can come true
But I never did. And chose to remain an invisible admirer. But I think she knows. Or at least I believe so, that she had a slight idea about my feelings. I don’t think she’s that mindless not to notice. And perhaps, indeed, I had done something wrong.
Perhaps I have all the good reasons not to tell her. I think it is better off that way. Looking back I had a colourful life after all.